I am becoming...

I am becoming....

I am not sure what it is, but I can feel my soul stretching and frankly...it's a painful process.

It is full of denying m self so I can find myself. One of the many quagmires of the gospel.

I don't think I have really been a person who has a difficult time setting boundaries and saying no, but I am smack dab in the middle of a NO season. I KNOW that I am supposed to say NO more than Yes. For how long? I don't know....see....it's sticky, but not really.

I've had moments in the last month where I have been busy rushing trying to get stuff done and the stuff is clashing with the family. It is difficult because sometimes the stuff is important...I made a commitment and I have a deadline kind of important.

I already feel the normal pressure most moms feel juggling babies, small kiddos, a house, a business, friends, a life, etc. but I really feel it as my kids are wanting to be held and dinner is on and the contract has to be typed and the ad has to be place and, and, and.....

so the no's are good.

They are making me slow down and as I look around and take stock of my house, my life, my zone... I see that it has been somewhat neglected. (along with my heart) because of I have been too busy juggling the yes's of my life to actually really listen to the thing that matter when it comes to agreements....agreements of the spirit and the heart.


So the no's are good....because I am wrapping up or finishing many yes's and then trying to learn to just shut it.....my mouth I mean.

I'll see how the test goes......because I think it is a test and there is a greater good inside my heart.....I am learning to listen a little bit deeper and look a little bit harder at my motivations. Why I say do what I do.